As if 2020 wasn’t weird enough, I got the privilege of turning 20 years old and starting a new decade of life. Being twenty years old can be strange at times. You aren’t that 15-year-old teenager living at home, but you are also not the 25-year-old adult living and functioning solo. Entering your 20s marks your emergence into adulthood and can be a transformational time. While I still have a lot more learning to do, here are 20 things I’ve learned in my 20 years:
1. Give yourself some credit.
Being 20 in this day and age is not easy. We have lived through a worldwide economic crisis, civil unrest, a scary political climate, and a global pandemic?! It is okay to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and take a rest. Give yourself some credit for what you have accomplished, despite the chaos ensuing around you.
2. School isn’t the best time of your life.
While college is an extremely fun time for people in their 20s, it isn’t always as peachy as it seems. College is the first time that many of us are out in the world on our own, and it can be a stressful time. It is important to make the most out of the 4 years you spend in college, but don’t fall victim to the narrative that it is the last good chapter of your life. This will create unnecessary pressure to make it the best, and will lead you to expect your life to go downhill from this point on. The truth is that your life is just getting started after college, and it can only get better from here. College is one of the best times of your life, but not the only.
3. What is meant for you will happen. Things don’t work out for a reason.
I know that people say this all the time, but it really is true. Everything, whether it be good or bad, happens for a reason and will put you exactly where you need to be. A lot of the time, things not working out the way we planned is actually a blessing in disguise. Trust that you are heading where you’re meant to be going.
4. Good things come to those who wait, but better things come when you work hard for it.
While it is true that good things come to those who wait, it is not necessarily a full-proof plan. If you spend your life waiting for something good to happen, you will be waiting a long time. Having the patience to see the fruits of your labor is an amazing thing. Putting in the work will take you further than you can imagine.
5. It is never too early to start networking.
As a 20-year-old, your professional journey is just getting started and you never know who will be able to guide you in the right direction. One conversation can open a number of doors for you and bring you incredible new opportunities. Not only is networking a great way to make connections, but it can help you learn valuable lessons from people you otherwise may have never talked to.
6. Social media is a waste of time.
If you are 20 years old right now, you can probably remember going outside any playing with your neighbors every night before dinner. You also probably remember downloading Instagram for the first, when it was dominated by memes and selfies. Our generation grew up on the brink of social media and watched it evolve from a fun, care-free site to a world of photoshop and flexing. Social media affects us in more ways than we care to recognize. From our buying habits to our self-perception, these sites do more harm than good. While taking pictures and receiving compliments can be fun, it is all a waste of time in the grand scheme of things. Remember that no one’s life is as perfect as it seems online, and that who you are in real life is what actually matters.
7. Friendship is a two-way street.
As someone who has experienced some painful “friend breakups,” it is important to recognize that friendship is a two-way street. If your friend is constantly putting you down, talking behind your back, or intentionally acting in ways they know will hurt you, then they are not a true friend. It is also important to consider your actions as well, and ensure you are nurturing the friendship. Friendship is an important aspect of life, and true friends will walk into your life when the time is right.
8. You can’t fix people.
I tend to take on the problems of those around me and try to lighten their load. As hard as it may be to accept, you simply cannot fix people. While this has been a hard pill to swallow, the sooner you accept it the better off you will be. No one can solve your issues except for yourself, so keep this in mind when looking at the issues of others. Remember there is a huge difference between offering support and carrying the weight of others.
9. You can do whatever you want in life.
I often find myself thinking about my future career and how I am already halfway done with college. Despite loving my field of study, I find myself worrying that I cannot change my career path in the future if I ever wanted to. However, I am literally 20 years old. In the grand scheme of life, 20 is just a baby. You can do anything you want in life, and right now is the best time to test the waters. You have plenty of time for trial and error, so do whatever makes you happy.
10. Never stop learning.
When I got to college and was searching for a major to pursue, I realized there was so much to learn and wondered how one could ever pick just one area of study. There truly is an infinite amount of knowledge to acquire, and so little time to do so. However, learning is one of the best things you can do for yourself and should continue to do so even after college.
11. Save your money.
This is something that you need to drill into your head now if you want to be financially free later. Being responsible with your money is one of the best things you can for your future self. Learning to budget will take you far.
12. Food is fuel, don’t make it the enemy
As someone who has been vegetarian for two years now, I tend to be hyper-aware of what I’m putting into my body. While it is good to want to maintain a healthy diet, it is not good to limit your food intake. Food is fuel, and your body needs it to survive. It is okay to eat “unhealthy” food here and there. If you spend your 20s being miserable about your weight, you are simply wasting time. The truth is, you’ll never be skinnier than you are at 20, so enjoy it! Give your body some credit for all it does for you.
13. Do things differently than your peers.
Could you imagine if every single person on this planet was the same? What a boring, mundane world we would live in. Our differences are what make us special. Don’t change who you truly are in order to fit in.
14. Comparing yourself to others is never going to work out.
It is so easy to look at what others have and think poorly of ourselves. We only compare ourselves to those who we see as better looking, smarter, or more capable than ourselves. We never look at what we have accomplished. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. Looking at the growth you have made and acknowledging your progress is the best thing you can do for yourself because the rest is out of our hands.
15. Enjoy the small things in life.
If we spend our whole lives waiting for that promotion, award, or big milestone to be hit, we will never truly be satisfied. Finding joy in the little things like a delicious lunch, long car ride, or beautiful sunset will make your life 10x better.
16. Say yes often, but know when to say no.
If there is one thing we can all agree upon after living in a pandemic, it’s that we wish we said yes to all those plans we bailed on in the past. You never know when you won’t be able to do the things we used to take for granted. Go
out to dinner, take that spontaneous trip, and attend the party. At the same token, know when to say no. Don’t let people drag you into situations you don’t wish to be in.
17. The only person who you have is yourself.
One thing I have realized is that at the end of the day, all you have is you. On this whole planet, no one is going to show up for you in the ways you can show up for yourself. While that can be a scary thought, it can also be a beautiful realization. You are the one who controls your destiny, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and make it happen.
18. Never take your family for granted.
It is easy to forget how much your family has done for you throughout the years. As I grow up, I feel more and more grateful for my parents and their continued support. Thank your family, spend time with them, and make memories together. You may not realize it now, but family is one of the best things in life.
19. Make mistakes and learn from them.
Making mistakes is always associated with a negative connotation, but failure isn’t always such a bad thing. Mistakes show us how to better ourselves and what we can do in the future to avoid hardships. Without them, we wouldn’t grow. Make all the mistakes now while you’re young and strive to emerge on the other side stronger and more knowledgeable.
20. Be grateful for all you have.
Practicing gratitude is one of the best things I have learned in life. While some days are harder than others, realizing that I am healthy, have a roof over my head, and am receiving an education always puts things in perspective for me. The more grateful you are for what you have, the less you allow little things to get in the way of your happiness.
At the end of the day, I am only 20 years old and have a lot more learning to do. These 20 things I’ve come to realize so far have helped set the foundation for my future and make me who I am today. What have you learned in your years?